Day Sex

Day sex is so good, and you know it (at least I hope you do).

For most of us, day sex is rare, and rare is special. But I think day sex rules for other reasons, too. For one, I have more energy during the day. Secondly, there is more light—so I can actually see my hot wife while we bone. And, finally, both of the above circumstances tend to bring on a rock-hard “woody.” Which is nice.

Woody often graces us with his presence at night, too, but half the time (usually tired and a few beers deep) Woody’s cousin “Chubby” stumbles in for the night shift. I love Chubby, he’s great (and certainly better than Noodle (who fuckin sucks ass)), but let’s face it: Woody is “the man.” Love that guy, I really do.

Normal weekdays are out—no day sex during the workweek because we both work. So, our only real opportunities for loving like that come during our daughter’s 2-hour nap on vacation days and weekends. It’s pretty sad when you do the math: over the course of any given year, with a 2-week vacation, we have a mere 124 hours of daytime availability for sex. That’s just 1.4% of our existence.

My daughter absorbs the majority of time that would otherwise be available for “smushing” before the sun goes down, but I obviously don’t hold it against her. After all, she’s 1. Plus, I have to remember, too, that, thanks to (the idea of) her, the several months it took to conceive her were filled with sex—morning, noon, and night. Truth be told, I got so much loving while trying to conceive my daughter that Woody started calling Chubby in for back up—even, on occasion–during the day!

Unfortunately, our baby girl and our lack of free daylight hours aren’t my only day sex “cock blocks.” First and foremost, my wife isn’t as enthralled with day sex as I am. She is a doer (and I wish there were more of double entendre to that statement). And, she is a busy body who views our daughter’s naptime as an opportunity to tackle her “to do” list—to clean, pay bills, shop, organize and get ready for [insert any of a million things here (except for my wang)].

Day sex remains elusive, but it would be insane for me to complain about our sex life or anything at all. I am raising a family with the woman of my dreams, and—as my wife was quick to point out after reading a draft of this post—she is generous with her loving. And while she would never let on otherwise, she really does seem to like doing me (even when Woody can’t rise to the occasion and sends his lazy cousin in to do the trick).

I am a lucky man. And, as soon as we start trying for another child, I will become even luckier—regardless of whether or not we succeed in this endeavor. When we will start trying is not entirely clear. But what I can say is that Woody is ready, and Chubby is on call (in the event it takes a while).

And as soon as my wife adds “making a baby” to her “to do” list, I will be very excited to put our daughter down for her nap.